Don't forget your workout card!!

The gym has always been to me this dog show, where everyone prances about in some feeble attempt to flaunt their peacock feathers to the rest of the room, demonstrating their domination of the art of weightlifting. That is a lot of the reasons why a lot of people shy away from the brute and unfortunate ego training that goes hand in hand with exercising. Pero bueno, I went to the gym anyways and pre-planned my exercises so that I could put on this "I know what I'm doing, don't bother me, wow these weights are heavy because I am so buff" face and exit the situation without any battle wounds. So I get on the floor and head to my first machine, taken, crap, I have to switch gears. I wasn't prepared!! Anyways, I look over at the culprit and he has a card with all of the exercises that work each muscle group on some stock paper with pictures and everything. I thought to myself that I couldn't believe that I was robbed by some amateur with his wimpy workout card. Then I looked over and saw that one of the trainers had the same card while helping a man who I believe starred in the 1990's hit SNL spin-off "It's Pat" (see link http://iqfb.com/wp-content/gallery/posts/itspat.jpg). Okay, so maybe it's for newcombers and trainers. Then I saw some post-apocalyptic version of Narcissus with a Thomas Guide of vein highways with the same card!!

What is this card? And...why don't I have one? I guess everyone here (or at least at Body Factory on la Calle Martin de los Heros) has this sacred card. The secrets of the deep must be contained in it. So as we Americans stress on how good we look when we work and how seasoned we are as veterans of the ancient art of bodybuilding, the Spaniards are shameless parading around their dog show with a guidebook. Why not, right? Why are we so image conscious as a society that when we are actually doing something positive with our bodies, we have to be insecure as to our methods?

Turn over a new leaf people. I think I'm going to make a powerpoint presentation with pictures and video tutorials of all my exercises that I want to do that day. Then, I am going to project it against one of the main walls because I name is Brian Kotick and I don't know how to work out properly (said in an Alcoholics Anonymous introductory cadence).